How to Become A Cat Lady... Without the Cats: My Long Lost Big Brother

Sunday, April 28, 2013

My Long Lost Big Brother

I always thought it would be cool to have an older brother. One that had a good sense of humor, was into music and had lots of hot friends who would hang around our house. (I would, of course, reciprocate by introducing my big brother to all my hot friends.) But sadly, the fates did not present me with such an opportunity.

Years went by and my dream remained unfulfilled. (I kept hoping that one of my parents had a love-child somewhere that I didn't know about.) It was looking pretty bleak. Then one day when I was perusing blogland, I came across a guy who had a kid hanging on a clothesline for his avatar.

My kind of guy! After all, I was rather fond of clothes lines myself back in the 50's. Well, I was actually fond of my blanket. But my mom wrestled it from me one day when I was about 2, washed it and hung it on the clothesline, so I stood there all day sucking my thumb and holding onto that blanket for all it was worth.... these things happen. Anyway, I had a feeling Dufus and I would be kindred spirits.

Over the course of a couple of years of trading barbs online, I found out more about Dufus. It turns out that Dufus is just one year and one month older than me. The perfect age for an older brother. He even likes the same kind of books and music as I like. As an added bonus, he has a wicked sense of humor. He regularly makes us groan with his puns, but in a way that has actually become somewhat endearing rather than totally annoying. Mostly because he's so damn clever and quick with the puns. I, on the other hand, had to work for months to come up with a winning caption for Dufus's weekly photo contest. It was a proud day when I could finally hang that kid on the clothesline in my own sidebar and claim "I be hangin' with Dufus."

Last summer I got the bright idea that I would go visit Dufus. I was going to be camping only an hour and a half away from his abode, so why not invade his privacy? Sure, invite myself over to the home of someone I've never actually met. (I'm rude like that.) And just to be even more obnoxious, I'll bring my yappy little dog along, too.

As things turned out, it was an utterly delightful evening with Dufus and his enchanting lady, Maryse. (Maryse makes the most wonderful sister-in-law!) They even offered to let Henry and I stay overnight, although we politely declined. We didn't want to overstay our welcome. As it was, it took Dufus two blood transfusions the next day to recover from our visit. (No, it's not what you're thinking... I left my ax in the car.) Do we know how to have a good time or what?!?!

So, I finally got to meet my long lost brother. Music aficionado = check! Humor = check! Hot friends... hey, wait a minute!

Where were the hot guys? Next time I make the trip to Quebec, there'd damn well better be some hot friends! You know the type... single guys somewhere around 60, (give or take a few years,) and preferably solvent... that criteria alone would make them pretty hot.

In the meantime... I be hangin' with my adopted big brother Dufus!