My Secret Admirer

Life is worth living again!  I have a secret admirer!  Imagine my surprise when I was going through my emails this morning and came to this one:

    From:     lucy_2010@att.net
    Subject:     Hello
    Date:     December 10, 2010 10:41:54 AM EST
    To:     undisclosed recipients: ;
    Reply-To:     lucy_good1@yahoo.com

Hello, I am lucy
How are you? hope you are fine and in perfect condition of health. Please I went through your profile and i read it and took interest in it, please if you don't mind i will like you to accept my  
friendship request with you and for me to send my picture to you  remember that distance or colour did not mean but true love matters alot
  hope to hear from you soon, and I will be waiting for your mail because i have something VERY important to tell you.
       
Lots of love
lucy

Profile?  What profile?  Last I checked, I wasn't registered on any Find-a-Mate.com sites.

I must say, I'm flattered.  But I think poor lucy is sorely mistaken on a few items. (She obviously didn't read my mystery profile very closely.)  So, there are a few things I'd like to clarify and/or have lucy clarify:

1.  I am not currently in perfect condition of health.  I'm not anywhere near death's doorstep, but I'm far from perfect at the moment.

2. I'm a strong proponent of gay rights, including same sex marriage, but I don't usually go out with other women.

3. I'm not currently collecting pictures of people I don't know, although I appreciate your offer to send me your photo.

4. lucy, what exactly should I remember that distance and colour did not mean? 

5. While I'd like to believe that true love exists, I'm afraid your kind email is not a harbinger of true love for me.

6.  I've found that when people have something VERY important to tell me, it's usually bad news, so I'll pass on that as well.


So, thanks but no thanks, lucy.  Better luck with the next undisclosed recipient.